Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize