I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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