you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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