If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
