its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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