they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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