It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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