Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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