I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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