noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
