Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
