how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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