I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize