Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
