I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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