I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
