I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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