I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
