This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
