I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
