Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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