If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
