His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's like iHOP with fire
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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