my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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