I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
why is half of my head shaved?
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