I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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