i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
