Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
