Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
