we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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