stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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