Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Randomize