What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
