we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
