Don't you send me to vm
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
