i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
