He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize