i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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