Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
