so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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