and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
