Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
