this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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