Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
