how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
