Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
