Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
