There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize