mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it because I queefed?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
