maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
