Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize