My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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