I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize