i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
