help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I love you. Go after that dick
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
