My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
