i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
