Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
