our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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