I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
