i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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