ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
