Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
